Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks

Frankenstein’s Castle of Freaks

1974

Director- Michael Dugan

Cast- Rossano Brazzi, Michael Dunn, Edmund Purdom, Gordon Mitchell, Loren Ewing, Luciano Pigozzi,  Xiro Papas, Salvatore Baccaro, Simonetta Vitelli, Laura De Benedittis, Christiane Rücker

From Italy

           

     The guys who wrote the screenplay for this film were either super creative or super high, and also pretty horny. Dr. Frankenstein ( in this film a Count instead of a Baron, not sure if that’s a step up or down) is up to his usual crimes against nature. This time though he isn’t trying to sew dead men together.

           

      There are a race of Neanderthals that live hidden in a labyrinth  of caves underneath his castle. Frankenstein (Brazzi)  gets his hands on one that has suffered some brain damage at the hands of a mob. He has his servants rob a grave (for spare parts). Working for Frankenstein is a group of miscreants including a perverse dwarf (Michael Dunn, who old school fans will recognize as  Dr. Loveless from The Wild Wild West), a masochistic cook who likes the rough stuff, and a hunchback that she is having an affair with. Visiting his castle, home from school, is his beautiful daughter (Simonetta Vitelli) and her beautiful teacher (Christiane Rücker). Frankenstein gets the hots for his daughter’s teacher and lets her in on his secret research. He is trying to create some kind of super human with the captured caveman that he has in his lab.

           

   Meanwhile, his pervy dwarf assistant is causing all kinds of trouble. He left his footprints at the site of a grave that he robbed (but not after taking some time to grope the boobs of the corpse he was stealing), spied on the women of the castle as they were bathing, and snuck into the doc’s labs and broke the equipment. For being such a pain in the butt, Frankenstein bans him. The dwarf swears revenge.

            

     

  I guess his revenge plan was to become an even bigger perv. Next he follows the doc’s daughter and her teacher and spies on them as they strip naked and bathe in a hot springs. He then befriends another member of the cavemen tribe (Salvatore Baccaro who suffered from acromegaly in real life) and ,after teaching him the marvels of cooking meat on a fire, talks the brute into helping him capture a girl to rape (is there no end to his depravity?). Meanwhile, the villagers have discovered that a body has been stolen from the cemetery and working themselves into a lather to go punish all the freaks up in Frankenstein’s castle.

          

  The dwarf’s trained caveman apparently learned his perv lessons too well, because he kidnaps Frankenstein’s girlfriend to use as his plaything. Meanwhile the dwarf sneaks back into the castle and lets loose the captured Neanderthal. The two cavemen fight over the woman and the villagers turn up to meet out some mob justice.

            

     To be straight with you, this is not a great film. It’s not even a good film, but if a movie with cavemen giants, a perverted dwarf, and women taking their clothes off seems like something you’d be interested, in then I don’t see how you can go wrong here.