Neon Maniacs

Neon Maniacs

1986

Director- Joseph Mangine

Cast- Donna Locke, Leilani Sarelle, Clyde Hayes, Victor Brandt

           

    No matter what you think this movie is going to be, it’s something else. You can call it horror but any attempt to classify it more specifically than that is doomed to fail. A nest of monsters resides in San Francisco, hiding in the Golden Gate Bridge. They emerge from their hideout and murder a group pf teens. One of the youngsters, Natalie (Leilani Sarelle) survives the encounter and the monsters make her their #1 target from then on. She tells her story to the police who, predictably, don’t believe her. Word gets around school and everyone thinks she is either crazy or a liar.

One kid believes her though. Paula (played by the absolutely adorable Donna Locke who steals the movie) is a nerdy kid obsessed with horror and sci-fi (she wears a Nostromo hat from Alien for crying out loud). Paula investigates and sees the monsters herself, which now makes her runner-up on the monster’s hit list. Paula joins forces with Natalie and her recently acquired boyfriend (Clyde Hayes).

Paula has discovered that the monsters have a weakness-water! So on Halloween night, they go to the school dance armed with water guns. The only problem is that the monsters have come armed with axes, swords, spears and an assault rifle! After a massacre at the dance the cops are a little more open minded about the kid’s story and they go to the Bridge to fight the monsters. But the monsters have disappeared , fled to re-emerge another day.

There are 2 stars of this film. The first are the monsters themselves. The sheer number and variety is one thing, but the creativity is something else. A mutant looking Indian, some kind of albino caveman, a dinosaur headed cyclops, a demonic samurai, a crazed surgeon, a crossbow wielding goblin and more! The only movie I can think of that tops this is Nightbreed. A cosplayer could spend the next decade just trying to re-create the Maniacs.

The other star is Donna Locke. As stated before, she steals the show. The teenage nerd boy that still lives inside my crusty, cynical heart would have totally fallen in love with her back in the day.  There is no doubt in my mind that she was partly the inspiration for the Frog brothers in Lost Boys. She is obsessed with the supernatural, kills monsters with a water gun, even disposes of one in her shower! It is a crying shame that she never appeared in any other films, and for the life of me I don’t know why. But that’s the way of B movies. They are often made memorable by outstanding performances by people you’ve never heard of or heard from again. At least we got to see her in this!

Nightmare Castle

Nightmare Castle

1965

Director- Mario Caiano

Cast- Barbara Steele, Paul Muller, Helga Liné, Marino Masé

From Italy

            

     Stephen is a cold intellectual. His wife Muriel (Barbara Steele) finds love in the arms of the gardener. Stephen finds them, captures and murders them, but not after torturing them. There is only one problem. Muriel left everything in her will to her sister Jenny. Stephen plans to marry Jenny (also played by Barbara Steele), who suffers from mental illness, drive her insane, and take possession of her wealth. He is aided by the maid , Solange, played by the  beautiful Helga Liné, who had a long successful horror career herself in films like The Loreley's Grasp, Horror Express, and the excellent Horror Rises from the Tomb. Solange was elderly, but thanks to a procedure involving Muriel’s blood, Stephen has restored her youth.

            

     Stephen marries Jenny and brings her home but before he can begin his plan to gaslight her, she starts suffering from bizarre dreams where she sees her sister being murdered. The doctor is perplexed but sees it as a good sign that driving Jenny over the edge won’t be as hard as he thought. He invites Jenny’s daughter to stay and observe her. However, the doctor is a bit more open minded and correctly deduces that Jenny is being possessed by the spirit of her dead sister.

            

    Stephen’s plan to get Jenny’s fortune has failed and Solange’s body begins to reject Muriel’s blood and she needs a fresh infusion. Stephen decides to cut his losses and murder Jenny and give the blood to Solange. All of this is foiled however when Muriel’s spirit shows up to exact revenge.

            

      The movie has some similarities to some other Barbara Steele movies. Like Black Sunday and The Long Hair of Death, Barbara Steele plays multiple characters and like Black Sunday, it involves being possessed by another’s spirit. It’s not as artfully executed as either of those two films but there is a big pay off at the end. Barbara Steele’s ghost form looks like an anime come to life. Could her eyes big any bigger and more beautiful! It has a shock gory ending that looks very much like an EC comic.

            

     Not the best Barbara Steel film and not the best Italian horror film, but it is cleverly done with a bit of Poe and, as said before, has a rewarding payoff at the end.

Archie Comics: The New Face of Horror

Archie Comics: The New Face of Horror

           

   What’s that I said, Archie Comics, the venerable home of clean cut kids and an all American atmosphere is the new face of horror? How can that be?  If you only have a passing familiarity with the comics, or haven’t read them in decades, then this may come as shock to you. But if you’ve been following the evolution and expansion of Archie comics over the past 10 years or so, then you know what I say is true.

           

    EC Comics, with books like Tales from the Crypt and The Vault of Horror ruled the 1950s. Warren Publishing ruled the 1960s and early 70s with Creepy, Eerie and Vampirella. Marvel Comics took the torch in the 70s with Tomb of Dracula, Werewolf by Night and characters like Satana, Hellstorm, Brother Voodoo and the Man-Thing. D.C. comics took over in the 80s with Alan Moore’s run on the Swamp Thing (maybe the single most important run of a horror comic after the original EC lines). This created an audience for, and paved the way for books like Hellblazer and Sandman. I think it’s fair to say that D.C.’s Vertigo line ruled horror comics through the 90s and the first decade of the 21^st Century with the continued popularity of John Constantine and books like Preacher and revamps of venerable books like Unknown Soldier, House of Mystery and House of Secrets. But Vertigo comics is kaput. They’re moving on. As of 2020 they are closing up shop. It’s time for some new blood. Or rather a fresh take on some old blood.

            

     

   Archie Comics is not new to horror. They have a tradition of horror but they’ve never been a major player in the game before now. Archie Comics began its life as MLJ Magazines in 1939. They originally published mainly super hero comics. Its most recognizable property, Archie Andrews didn’t come around until 1941. The popularity of that character and his friends would prompt the company to eventually change its name. During those early days they published different kinds of stories and one reoccurring character that had her own stories was a succubus named Madame Satan. She was sent from Hell to tempt men and thus damn their souls. This character has been revamped over the years. She appears in the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina comic as one of Sabrina’s rivals. She appears in the Sabrina TV show as Ms. Wardwell, and true to form tempts men to their doom.

            

    Under their imprint brand, Red Circle, during the 1970’s , when such comics were at their most popular, they published a horror anthology series Chilling Adventures in Sorcery (the Sabrina series takes its name from that). Like Tales from the Crypt or House of Mystery, it published short tales of the macabre and they have a similar flavor.

            

    But Archie Comics jumping into horror with both feet didn’t begin until a few years ago with a critically acclaimed title, Afterlife with Archie.

Afterlife with Archie

   

        

    The Archie Horror comics are best viewed as a What If? line of stories (or Elseworlds if you are a DC fan I guess). They are reimaginings of the classic characters in a horror setting. They don’t share a universe, with the same characters being reimagined in different ways in different books. Afterlife with Archie begins with Jugghead frantically seeking help from Sabrina. His beloved pet, Hot Dog, has been hit by a car and he begs Sabrina to use her magic to bring it back to life. Her aunts forbid it but Sabrina, being a willful teenager, does it anyway. Her aunts find out and banish her to Limbo for a year, but the damage has been done.

            

    Hot Dog returns to life, but feral and undead. He bites his master Jugghead, turning him into a zombie. Jugghead spreads the contagion and soon Riverdale, and then the world, is over run with zombies. Archie leads the survivors out of Riverdale. The first few issues are standard zombie apocalypse fair (great, right? Just what we need, another Walking Dead). But with issue 6 the series takes a very rewarding hard turn.

           

    We find out that Sabrina has been plucked from limbo by H.P. Lovecraft who is using her and other gifted children as a means of opening up a gate to allow the Old Ones to return. The entire Hot Dog infected zombie horde is just their tool. Issue 8 features homage to The Shining with Archie drinking alone in a hotel being served by the ghost of Jugghead as the bartender. Issue 10 features the introduction of Josie and the Pussycats in a homage to Interview with the Vampire.

           

    Written by Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa it was clever and reminiscent of Alan Moore’s run on the Swamp Thing. The art by Francesco Francavilla was beautiful and moody. Each issue had various variant and reprint covers. Some of my favorites were by artist Andrew Pepoy who took the traditional Archie art style and filtered it through a sexy, horror lens. The series was really creepy and enthralling , especially after issue 5. There is really only one complaint and that’s the series ended with no real conclusion or cancellation. Issue 10 came out with a teaser for issue 11 and…nothing. I still can’t figure out why a series that was popular and well received by the critics would just fizzle out. It reminded me of Guns n’ Roses in the 90s. They were the biggest band on earth  knocking out #1 records left and right and fans waited for another album…and waited…and waited. My only hope is that the increased popularity of the Archie brand will encourage them to finish this series.

The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina

            

    Every comic line, even a line of horror comics, needs a flagship character, a brand that will attract new fans. For Warren it was Vampirella. For the Marvel horror comics of the 70’s it was Tomb of Dracula. For Vertigo of the 90s it was John Constantine. For Archie horror it is Sabrina. And like Constantine, whose humble origin was as a backup character in Swamp Thing, Sabrina (in her current incarnation) began in Afterlife with Archie. Other than her brief appearance in issue #1 and another brief appearance in issue #9, Sabrina is absent from most of the story with the exception of issue #6. That issue is all about her.

           

    After being plucked from Limbo she is trapped in an asylum. Given drugs that suppress her magic and fog her memory, she tries to piece together what has happened to her and what is happening. Over the course of the issue she discovers a conspiracy to bring the Old Ones to Earth. The story’s climax is a parody of a wedding where she is to be married to Great Cthulhu. She is tied up, like Andromeda awaiting the sea monster, on a cliff overlooking the ocean as the great Old One rises out of the sea!

      

     

   

   Though that Sabrina is not the Sabrina of Chilling Adventures, it was that version that inspired her next incarnation. The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina takes place in the early 1960s in a Happy Days-esque small town. Sabrina is an orphan being raised by her aunts. Unbeknownst to Sabrina, her father was a High Priest of Satan, a pupil of Aliester Crowley, and a truly evil man. He has created Sabrina through a sort of supernatural eugenics as the key to an ultimate evil scheme. Plaguing her is Madame Satan, a succubus who was spurned by Sabrina’s father. She decides to take out her revenge on Sabrina. Assisting her are Betty and Veronica, both young witches themselves. 

           

    My single favorite issue is the origin of Sabrina’s cat, Salem, who we find out was turned into a familiar in 1692 after pissing off a coven of witches. It is one of the most disturbing single issues of any comic that I have ever read and truly deserving of being called “horror”.

        

     

    Like Afterlife with Archie, The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina was written by Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa. It featured outstanding art by Robert Hack. It reminded me of some of the beautiful art from the Eerie and Vampirella comics of the 70s, except in glorious color! The only possible complaint one could have is (tell me if this sounds familiar) the series never finished !?! Like Afterlife, it just sort of ended. No cancellation, no news, just…nothing.  Again, I can only hope that the popularity of the Netflix show will motivate somebody at Archie to pick the series back up.

Jugghead: the Hunger

            

    This series features Archie’s closest friend ,Jugghead Jones, as the victim of a generations long curse of lycanthropy. The Joneses have always been werewolves. To make matters worse, he is being hunted by Betty, whose family are werewolf hunters. Archie gets caught in the middle, having to join his girlfriend in trying to kill his buddy. It doesn’t have the gothic, creepy feel of Afterlife or Chilling Adventures but it is very gory, right from the start. My favorite part is a POV transformation where we see a victim through Jugghead’s eyes as he becomes a werewolf.

Blossoms 666

            

   Siblings Cheryl and Jason Blossom are a pair of rich teens with a dark secret. One of them is the Anti-Christ! This comic also had its origins in Afterlife with Archie where they likewise harbored a dark secret (though due to the series’ dissolution it was never really explored).

           

   Imagine if Damien from the Omen was raised by Satanists instead of normal people and now mix that with a little 90210 and you have a good idea of what the series is about. Like every other comic in the line, it has top notch art.

Vamperonica

            

    This book is a guilty pleasure along the lines of The Lost Boys. Sure, it’s not as gritty as Near Dark or as classic as Fright Night, but it’s just so cool and fun! It’s very slickly produced with beautiful stylish art and a witty story. Veronica Lodge, Riverdale’s elite snob, best friend of Betty and rival for Archie’s affection is attacked by a vampire. Before she succumbs to the bloodlust she has to find and kill the vampire that turned her. Meanwhile, the nosferatu is turning the rest of the town into vampires that she’ll have to fight her way through. A very compact, succinctly written series, it perfectly lends itself to a movie adaptation.

            

   The story continues with Vamperonica New Blood. And of course, all good monsters deserve a monster mash. She comes into conflict with werewwolf Jugghead in the series Vamperonica vs. Jugghead the Hunger.

The ongoing adventures…

            

    The Netflix series The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina is loosely based on the comic (it has turned 8 issues into 21 episodes with another season in the works).  I’ll save a review of that for later as it really deserves its own space. In fact, one could write  an entire essay on the phenomenon of Sabrina Spellman (future project…)Needless to say, it is very good and its star Kiernan Shipka has done an excellent job of creating a memorable character. It combines teen angst, dark humor and some utterly sacrilegious (some might say blasphemous) imagery and themes.

            

    Given the universalness of the Archie characters, they lend themselves to endless re-interpretations. So far they haven’t shown any signs of getting stale and the art is top notch all around. I hope this continues for at least a few more years so we can enjoy more of these creepy, fun stories. After all, I need to see more of Josie and her vampire Pussycats!

 

Swamp Thing

Swamp Thing

1982

Director- Wes Craven

Cast- Louis Jordan, Adrienne Barbeau, Ray Wise, Dick Durrock, David Hess, Nicholas Worth

            

    For those of you not familiar with the Swamp Thing comic or movie, here is a brief synopsis. Alec Holland is a brilliant scientist working on a secret chemical in a laboratory in the swamp. An accident covers him in chemicals and, on fire, he jumps into the swamp water. The combination of all of these elements transforms Holland into a humanoid plant. His nemesis is Arcane, a villain who wants to capture and destroy the Swamp Thing. In later years, the nature of the Swamp Thing would be expounded upon, turning him, it really, into a much more supernatural being, but in the beginning as created by Len Wein and Bernie Wrightson, that was his origin.

            

     As far as that goes the movie does a pretty good job of staying faithful. It has a good cast. Louis Jordan, as Arcane, is always a great villain. Adrienne Barbeau, as Alice Cable (Abby in the comics) is about as far from the comics as you can get. On the other hand, getting to see Adrienne in various skin tight outfits has its own rewards, I guess.  The Swamp Thing doesn’t look bad, especially for when the movie was made, but it is also obviously just a rubber suit.  The movie has the look of a better B movie. Probably the biggest problem is that Wes Craven, who was a master of horror, was just out of his element. It is essentially a monster movie, sort of a cross between the Hulk and the Creature from the Black Lagoon, complete with brightly lit spaces for big action sequences. Those familiar with the comic know that the comic has always relied on creepy mood, ambiance, and dare I say, philosophical pondering more than outrageous action.

           

    I also need to say that, though I’ve been a fan of the Swamp Thing for most of my life, I was introduced to the character via Alan Moore’s version in the 80s, which is a more complex character, thematically and visually, than he was in the 70s.

            

     There are 2 versions of the movie out there. The international version which is about 2 minutes longer and has a rather revealing scene of Adrienne Barbeau and the more  tame U.S version. The US version is out on Blu-ray. The international version is out of print, so far as I know, but can still be found. There was a sequel with an infinitely better Swamp Thing costume. That costume still looks good today. The sequel, however, didn’t amount to much. Its greatest success was spawning a TV series that ran 72 episodes (which is pretty amazing). Dick Durrock wore the rubber suit in both movies and the TV series. DC just tried another launch of the character on its on demand service, but that was cancelled after 10 episodes. Alas, the Swamp Thing, one of the more consistently popular and venerable characters of the DC universe, still hasn’t been able to find its definitive adaptation yet.

The Crimson Ghost

The Crimson Ghost

1946

Director- Fred C. Brannon, William Witney

Cast- Charles Quigley, Linda Stirling, Clayton Moore, I. Stanford Jolley, Kenne Duncan, Forrest Taylor

            

    Chances are, you’ve never seen The Crimson Ghost. You may have never even heard of it. But the chances are excellent that you know the iconic image of The Crimson Ghost. It has been immortalized as the mascot for the punk band The Misfits and has been painted by horror art icon, Basil Gogos.

            

     It was originally a 12 part Republic serial that has been severely re-edited into a movie (as in like an hour shorter). But since the original 12 part series is easy to find on the internet you might as well enjoy it in its full glory. The film was really ahead of its time in several ways and had (obviously) one of the most visually memorable characters of that era.

            

      The Crimson Ghost is a super villain in the best traditions of villainy. A scientist has invented a new device ,the Cyclotrode, that will defend against the threat of atomic bomb by detecting and neutralizing the bomb. The Crimson Ghost intends to steal it and use it to wreak havoc.  Though the term “EMP” had not entered into popular fiction at that time, the Cyclotrode was essentially an EMP. It emitted a ray that disabled electrical devices and The Ghost planned to use it to extort money from businesses and countries. This concept would become popular in fiction decades later with films like Goldeneye, but as far as I know, it was used first here.

We know pretty early that the The Ghost is really a member of the same academic circle as the scientist who invented the Cyclotrode, but his identity remains a mystery. Assisting him is a gangster, Ashe (Clayton Moore, who would later be the Lone Ranger to a generation of kids in the 50s). He also uses slaves. He injects them with a drug to sap their will and fits them with a control collar that will kill them if anyone tries to remove it. The “death collar” is another tired concept in modern fiction but, as far as I know, it was used here first.

    

     Opposing The Ghost is Duncan (Charles Quigley) a criminologist who also seems to be physicist as well as an expert bare knuckle brawler. He is assisted by Diana (Linda Sterling) who likewise has that rare combination of scientific expertise and daring do (and beautiful). As the duo tracks down and fights The Ghost we are treated to car chases, plane crashes, shoot outs, death rays and some fight scenes that would make Jackie Chan proud. Seriously, hats off to the stunt actors in this film. The fights are long, energetic and realistic.

            

      The Crimson Ghost harkens back to a by gone era. The first thing you notice is the awesome respect that people had for science and scientists, a trend that would continue in fiction until the mid-60s when faith in authority figures was eroded by the counter culture movement. We get to hear a plethora of scientific jargon tossed around (whether the writers knew what any of it meant, I don’t know). Each of the 12 parts has a catchy title like “Atomic Peril” “Thunderbolt” “The Laughing Skull” “Flaming Death” and “Mystery of the Mountain.” Each episode ends with the hero or heroine seemingly meeting their end only to show, at the beginning of the next episode, how they escaped at the last second.

            

   

   Post World War 2, the gothic horror of the Universal Monsters had been replaced the very realistic fear of atomic annihilation and science gone astray. This was also balanced, though, by a hopeful optimism that there was no problem that science couldn’t solve. The Crimson Ghost captures all of this.

            

     A modern, cynical, audience would probably find the movie quaint. However, if you can sit back and enjoy its pulp, comic book feel, I think you can appreciate The Crimson Ghost for the exciting, and original, movie that it is.

           

    Fun fact: Linda Sterling, the heroine of the film, made a name for herself as the star of The Tiger Woman and then as the romantic lead in Zorro’s Black Whip. After a successful career in acting, she went back to school to study literature, earning her PhD at age 50! She spent the next 2 decade as college professor!

In the Mouth of Madness

In the Mouth of Madness

1994

Director- John Carpenter

Cast- Sam Neil, Julie Carmen, Jürgen Prochnow, David Warner, Bernie Casey, John Glover, Charlton Heston, Peter Jason

            

    In the long trajectory of John Carpenter’s career, the 1970’s were his emergence and the 1980’s were the summit (has any director other than Spielberg created so many good movies in such a short period of time?). The 1990’s ,though, is the era of Carpenter’s decline, at least in terms of his popularity and cultural relevance. Memoirs of an Invisible Man is a largely forgotten film (unfortunately). Ghost of Mars was unfortunately a movie I can’t forget. Village of the Damned was a forgettable remake and Escape from LA revisited sacred territory unsuccessfully. Two movies from this era stand out as being worthy of mentioning alongside his earlier works.  Vampires, though not scary is fun. In the Mouth of Madness on the other hand is pure horror and as unsettling today as it was 25 years ago.

           

      Sam Neil plays John Trent, an insurance investigator who specializes in uncovering fraud. He is hired to investigate the disappearance of hit horror write, Sutter Cane (Prochnow). Accompanying Trent in his investigation is Linda (Julie Carmen), Cane’s editor. Cane’s work has developed a a loyal following and has a reputation for unhinging his psychologically delicate readers. Trent tracks down Cane in the town of Hobb’s End, a town that existed only in Cane’s novels. Trent discovers that a strange horror has overtaken the town. It  seems to be straight out of Cane’s novel, complete with mutating children an evil church and protean monsters.

       

    

     Cane seems to have become a kind of god, powered by the belief of his readers. The more people who read and believe his work, the more powerful he becomes and the more reality mirrors his writing. He is paving the way for the return of the Old Ones and when humanity finally loses its grip on reality, it will be time for them to arrive. Cane tells Trent that he will be his messenger, delivering his final message to the world in the form of his last novel, In the Mouth of Madness.

           

     The film has an obvious Lovecraft influence, not only with its strange creatures trying to break into our world, but also with the theme of insanity. Trent is a practical man, grounded in reality. But with each new horror his grip on that reality loosens and we wonder how long it will be before he is as insane as the rest of the world seems to be.

            

     Carpenter’s work from a decade earlier, The Thing, focused on the body horror of infection, having one’s body taken over and mutated by the introduction of a single cell. In the Mouth of Madness takes the same theme but transfers it from the biological to the psychological. Exposure to Sutter Cane’s novels introduces an infectious germ into the mind that inevitably changes the person until they lose themselves.

The movie, though it doesn’t hit you over the head with it, focuses on the power of belief. Is reality a concrete construct that exists independent of our perceptions of it or is reality only a matter of perception and has no more permanence than the changing weather. Psychology teaches us that our emotions are not based on what happens (reality) but on what we think happens (our perceptions). So if our perceptions change how we feel and how we act, is that not the same as changing reality itself?

   

Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks

Frankenstein’s Castle of Freaks

1974

Director- Michael Dugan

Cast- Rossano Brazzi, Michael Dunn, Edmund Purdom, Gordon Mitchell, Loren Ewing, Luciano Pigozzi,  Xiro Papas, Salvatore Baccaro, Simonetta Vitelli, Laura De Benedittis, Christiane Rücker

From Italy

           

     The guys who wrote the screenplay for this film were either super creative or super high, and also pretty horny. Dr. Frankenstein ( in this film a Count instead of a Baron, not sure if that’s a step up or down) is up to his usual crimes against nature. This time though he isn’t trying to sew dead men together.

           

      There are a race of Neanderthals that live hidden in a labyrinth  of caves underneath his castle. Frankenstein (Brazzi)  gets his hands on one that has suffered some brain damage at the hands of a mob. He has his servants rob a grave (for spare parts). Working for Frankenstein is a group of miscreants including a perverse dwarf (Michael Dunn, who old school fans will recognize as  Dr. Loveless from The Wild Wild West), a masochistic cook who likes the rough stuff, and a hunchback that she is having an affair with. Visiting his castle, home from school, is his beautiful daughter (Simonetta Vitelli) and her beautiful teacher (Christiane Rücker). Frankenstein gets the hots for his daughter’s teacher and lets her in on his secret research. He is trying to create some kind of super human with the captured caveman that he has in his lab.

           

   Meanwhile, his pervy dwarf assistant is causing all kinds of trouble. He left his footprints at the site of a grave that he robbed (but not after taking some time to grope the boobs of the corpse he was stealing), spied on the women of the castle as they were bathing, and snuck into the doc’s labs and broke the equipment. For being such a pain in the butt, Frankenstein bans him. The dwarf swears revenge.

            

     

  I guess his revenge plan was to become an even bigger perv. Next he follows the doc’s daughter and her teacher and spies on them as they strip naked and bathe in a hot springs. He then befriends another member of the cavemen tribe (Salvatore Baccaro who suffered from acromegaly in real life) and ,after teaching him the marvels of cooking meat on a fire, talks the brute into helping him capture a girl to rape (is there no end to his depravity?). Meanwhile, the villagers have discovered that a body has been stolen from the cemetery and working themselves into a lather to go punish all the freaks up in Frankenstein’s castle.

          

  The dwarf’s trained caveman apparently learned his perv lessons too well, because he kidnaps Frankenstein’s girlfriend to use as his plaything. Meanwhile the dwarf sneaks back into the castle and lets loose the captured Neanderthal. The two cavemen fight over the woman and the villagers turn up to meet out some mob justice.

            

     To be straight with you, this is not a great film. It’s not even a good film, but if a movie with cavemen giants, a perverted dwarf, and women taking their clothes off seems like something you’d be interested, in then I don’t see how you can go wrong here.