Frankenhooker

Frankenhooker

1990

Director- Frank Henenlotter

Cast-   Patty Mullen, James Lorinz, Joseph Gonzalez, Jennifer Delora, Charlotte Helmkamp, Lia Chang, Kimberly Taylor, Heather Hunter, Gittan Goding, Vicki Darnell, Sandy Colosimo, Shirley Stoler, Joanne Ritchie, Beverly Bonner,John Zacherle

        

     Jeffery (James Lorinz) is a three time medical school failure who now gets by as an electronics repairman. In his spare time he works on a brain that he has in a jar (everyone has a hobby, right?). He is engaged to Elizabeth (Patty Mullen).  During a birthday party for his soon to be father-in-law, Elizabeth is killed in a horrible lawnmower accident, turned into “a tossed human salad.” Jeffery sits in the basement obsessing over his dead love. He expresses his concern to his mother, telling her that he thinks he is turning into a sociopath, losing the ability to distinguish between right and wrong.

            

     Jeffery hatches a plan to bring back the love of his life. You guessed it. He’ll build her a new body! Luckily for him, a huge storm is approaching, just two days away, which will power his creation. But where to find the body parts?  Grief stricken and stressed out, Jeffery needs to chill so he can think and he has an interesting relaxation technique. “Some people need drugs. Some people need booze. I just need a little surgical assistance.” He uses a power drill to destroy parts of his brain in order to get rid of stress (which may be why he is turning into a sociopath).

          

    Although he does miss is dearly departed Elizabeth, he also sees this as a chance to make his ideal woman, or as he puts it, “I can make you the centerfold goddess of the century. I just need the right parts.” His elegant solution is to just hire a bunch of prostitutes, kill them, and select the best parts from each. But how can he subdue and kill so many women in such a short amount of time? He uses his medical skills (and a bag of drugs) to create “super crack.” The drug, once smoked, sets off a chain reaction that will cause the girls to explode!

           

     He sets out on his quest and enlists the stable of a pimp named Zorro (because he brands all of his girls with a “Z”). Jeffery holds a beauty pageant, eyeing and measuring the girls’ legs, butts, boobs and everything else. At the last second he has a crisis of conscience and starts to back out, but the girls get their hands on his super crack, and before you know it, the room is filled with exploding hookers. Its then just a simple matter of collecting all of the parts and taking them home. Meanwhile, Zorro is out of girls and looking for the man responsible.

            

     Jeffery takes the parts home, selects what he wants and puts the rest in his freezer filled with a special estrogen based serum to keep them fresh. He puts his perfect woman together, topped with Elizabeth’s head, and hoists her into the stormy night hair, waiting to harness the electrical power of creation. After it absorbs a lightning strike he brings her down, the towering, purple hued, Frankenhooker.

          

       There’s only one problem. Whatever personality that Elizabeth had is buried beneath that of the dozen or so hookers. Her entire vocabulary is made up of the last things the girls said; “Wanna date?” “You got any money?” She smacks Jeffery, knocking him unconscious, and then stumbles out onto the town, looking for a John. After a few rejections, she finds a schmuck and takes him up to a hotel room.

            

    Whether it’s the electrical energy or the residual super-crack, sex with Frankenhooker proves to be lethal. Half way through doing the deed the John begins to heat up and spark, exploding right between Frankenhooker’s legs. She fishes some money out his wallet before going out and killing another guy who tries to put the moves on her.

            

     Jeffery finally catches up to her, but not before Zorro finds them. Jeffery gets her home and restores Elizabeth’s personality but Zorro cuts Jeffery’s head off. However, there is a surprise in store for Zorro. The dismembered body parts in Jeffery’s freezer have revived and melted together, forming naked , fleshy, chimeras. They attack Zorro and haul him into the freezer. Elizabeth, her intellect restored, uses Jeffery’s notes to come up with a fitting way to restore her boyfriend to life.

  

      There are a lot of recognizable faces. Much of the cast appeared in the director’s earlier works, Brain Damage and the Basket Case trilogy. Some folks may recognize TV horror host John Zacharle as the weatherman predicting the huge storm. The cast of hookers is filled with faces that some people may recognize, depending on their interests. Charlotte Helmkamp was a Playboy Playmate. Kimberly Taylor was a Penthouse Pet. Heather Hunter enjoyed a very successful career in porn in the 90s. Lia Chang (the Asian hooker,Crystal )was one of the Wing Kong guards in Big Trouble in Little China.

           

     Of course, the real main attraction is Patty Mullen as the titular undead street walker. Patty was a Penthouse Pet of the Month and then Pet of the Year before transitioning to acting. Her only other movie credit was in 1988’s Doom Asylum. I don’t know if she just couldn’t get more work or if it was her choice, but it’s too bad. She was really very funny, pulling off the physical comedy of the role humorously and memorably. I think she could have had a career in horror-comedy.  If nothing else, I could have used a sequel. Her shrill cry of “Wanna date?” is almost a horror slogan in and of itself.

            This is one of those movies that is better than it probably has a right to be. Although the plot is derivative, the script is clever and humorous. It doesn’t take itself seriously and is fun from start to finish. The design of Frankenhooker herself is simple but memorable. They could have gone with a Bride of Frankenstein motif, but the purple, punk rock design fits the movie and the character better.

            

     I’m usually not a fan of remakes and reboots but this is a film that could benefit.  I would never say that this film was “deep”( it was clearly exploitation) but with the right script this could almost be turned into ironic satire with a feminist slant. The fact that Jeffery only sees the prostitutes as raw material for his plan is an obvious analogy. Jeffery’s desire to not just bring back his fiancé, but to make her the ultimate sexual object, is just waiting for some biting social commentary. Likewise, Jeffery’s self-mutilation, through drilling holes in his brain to destroy his emotions begs for extrapolation. Well, we’re not likely to get a new Frankenhooker anytime soon, so I guess we’ll just have to enjoy what we got.