Hellhole

 

Hellhole

1985

Director- Pierre De Moro

Cast- Judy Landers, Ray Sharkley, Mary Woronov, Edy Williams, Robert Z-Dar, Natalie Main, Lamya Derval

            Susan (Judy Landers) finds herself caught up in a convoluted plot of a criminal trying to find some incriminating documents. She walks in on her mother being strangled by a killer (Ray Sharkley) that looks like he walked out of a leather bar. She runs but the killer catches her and pushes her off of a building.

            However, rather than dying, she survives but with amnesia. She doesn’t remember who she is or what happened to her. She is sent to an asylum for women in the hopes that she can recover her memory. Her would be killer infiltrates disguised as an orderly in the hopes of interrogating her about the missing papers.

            If this isn’t bad enough, the asylum is being run by an amoral mad scientist (Mary Woronov from Chopping Mall, Night of the Comet, Death Race 2000, and Silent Night Bloody Night). Any patient who acts up is snatched up by the doctor’s goon squad and whisked away to Hellhole, a building where the mad doctor conducts her psychiatric experiments. Most patients never return and those that do are the worse for wear.

            Hellhole gives little to no thought toward realism.  Judy Landers wears a sexily cut dress as her patient attire. The medical staff seems largely oblivious. Anyone who has ever worked in either a hospital or an inpatient mental health facility will laugh at the ridiculous over the top sexiness. Hot girls get into naked shower fights, hot girls have topless mud baths, and more hot girls get their hands on drugs and have sex with the staff. The sexiness is led by exploitation star, and former wife of Russ Meyers, Edy Williams. Edy makes for a great early 80s sexbomb with her big, bleached blonde hair.

            Besides the sex, the sleaze is laid on pretty thick, thanks mostly to Ray Sharkley as Silk, the killer who stalks Susan through the film. He is a truly deplorable character who abuses or insults just about everyone in the film. He’s so sleazy that he’s often more caricature than character, but that’s the charm of the film.

            Despite all the obvious tongue in cheek fun, the film does manage to conjure up some feeling of menace, especially within Hellhole itself. Patients, driven mad by the doctor’s drugs, are reduced to feral creatures. Added to this is the doctor’s goon squad led by Robert Z’Dar (best known as the Maniac Cop). He has a real intimidating physical presence that seems even more intimidating when he shares the screen with Judy Lander’s delicate beauty.

            Of course, Judy Landers is the main attraction.  She has the unconscious charisma that just makes you want to watch her. She always had a bit of a good girl image which contrasts sharply with the film’s overt sleaziness.

Judy and her sister Audrey were mainstays of late 70s /early 80s pop culture. One or both of them made an appearance in just about every show worth watching. Judy herself showed up in Vegas, Buck Rogers, Knight Rider, The A-Team, Alf, Night Court, and CHiPs. Audrey had a regular role on Dallas and also appeared on Battlestar Galactica, Happy Days, Police Woman, The Dukes of Hazard, Hotel, Crazy Like a Fox and MacGyver, Both sisters made appearances on Charlies’ Angels, Love Boat, BJ and the Bear, and Fantasy Island.

If you were a TV show in the 80s and the Landers sisters didn’t make an appearance, you have to question your significance as a TV show. Judy also did several movies including Stewardess School and Dr. Alien.

Hellhole is a crazy mishmash of genres. It has a heavy dose of the women in prison genre, even though they aren’t actually in a prison. Added to this is a doctor making mental  zombies, a lot of over the top sexuality, a little bit of Giallo, and some kind of organized crime angle thrown in for good measure. Don’t watch this if you are wanting a thought provoking mystery or a careful study of human nature. On the other hand, if you’re wanting to check your brain at the door with some cartoonish characters and a hefty dose of TnA, then Hellhole might do the trick.

The Fearless Vampire Killers

 

The Fearless Vampire Killers

1967

Director- Roman Polanski

Cast- Sharon Tate, Jack MacGowran, Roman Polanski, Ferdy Mayne, Alfie Bass, Terry Downes, Fiona Lewis, Iain Quarrier, Jessie Robins

            This movie, also released as Dance of the Vampires, and also released with the longer humorous subtitle, Pardon Me but Your Teeth Are in My Neck, is a pretty well balanced horror comedy with beautiful Gothic imagery.

            The story is pretty straight forward. An absent minded scholar, Professor Abronsius (Jack MacGowran) and his faithful student Alfred (Roman Polanski) are in the old country researching the existence of vampires. It doesn’t take long for him to find some clues as the inn where they are staying has garlic hanging everywhere.

            The inn is run by a salacious old pervert (Alfie Bass) whose primary interest is in hooking up with the inn’s maid (Fiona Lewis).  Alfred’s attention is immediately captured by Sarah, the innkeeper’s daughter (played by Sharon Tate who is absolutely gorgeous with red hair instead of her usual blonde).

            Alfred’s plans of wooing Sarah are interrupted though when the local aristocratic vampire, Count Von Krolock (Ferdy Mayne) sets his sights on, and and sinks his teeth into, Sarah. She is taken away to his castle and her father is turned into a vampire. The professor and Alfred’s investigation takes them to the castle and a confrontation with the Count and his many undead minions.

            As I said, the plot is pretty straight forward. As to the feel of the film, it’s not as much scary as it is creepy. Polanski was obviously having fun with plenty of gags and slap stick but the visuals of the movie keep it within the realm of horror. Polanski, of course, has no problem with creating horror having given us both the landmark Rosemary’s Baby and the highly intelligent Ninth Gate. So I imagine that he was able to just put his horror instincts on auto pilot and focus his energies on the comic aspects.

            The visuals are really the main reason I’d recommend watching the film. It’s quite something to look at, especially if you’re a fan of Gothic horror. The film’s wintry landscape was shot in Austria and the Italian Alps. Snow in the dark creates a beautiful black and white contrast. The cinematographer, Douglas Slocombe, by the way brought quite a bit of talent to the table. Some of his better known works included Raiders of the Lost Ark, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, The Italian Job, Rollerball, and The Lion in Winter!

Ferdy Mayne’s Count is decked out in the classic aristocratic vampire garb and would easily pass for the main antagonist of a Hammer film. Ferdy actually had a low baritone voice that was very reminiscent of Christopher Lee’s voice, if less operatic.

            The castle and its denizens create an opulent but decaying aesthetic. One scene in particular, a large dance whose attendees are all undead, is particularly striking. The castle’s  snow-capped battlements and moldy tombs perfectly create the lonely, isolated feeling of an Italian Gothic horror. I can easily imagine Mario Bava shooting a film that would look just like this.

None of this compares though to Sharon Tate. She is so beautiful and is every bit the Gothic beauty with her pale skin and large eyes. Decked out in red with her red hair she contrasts with the dull greys and browns of the castle (which I’m sure was the whole idea). One wonders how she made it through the 60s and never appeared in a Hammer film. This was Sharon’s 2^nd horror film, her first being the clever folk horror, Eye of the Devil. I’ve no doubt that if she’d lived she would have become an accomplished scream queen.

So don’t watch this movie if you are wanting to be scared. But if you are wanting to be entertained, or just enjoy its beautiful Gothic aesthetic, Fearless Vampire Killers is worth your time.

Fun fact #1- The film is connected with some other vampire films of the era. Fiona Lewis, who plays the buxom maid, also played Lucy in the Jack Palance version of Dracula. Ferdy Mayne appeared in many horror films like The Howling 2 but also the groundbreaking Vampire Lovers and the horror-comedy The Vampire Happening.

Fun fact #2- Although he is totally unrecognizable with his Albert Einstein make up, horror fans will know Jack MacGowran (the Professor) from a much more famous work. He played Burt Dennings, the director who gets murdered in The Exorcist.

Encounters of the Spooky Kind

 

Encounters of the Spooky Kind     鬼打鬼

1980

Director- Sammo Hung

Cast- Sammo Hung, Chung Fat, Lam Ching-ying, Jonny Chan, To Siu-ming, Huang Ha, Leung Suet-mei

From Hong Kong

 

                Martial arts legend Sammo Hung plays Bold Cheung, a blue collar guy with a reputation for being fearless and the toughest guy around. Despite this rep he’s a pretty down to Earth guy, just trying to make a buck and deal with his wife who makes it pretty obvious that she doesn’t think too highly of him.

                Early in the story he takes a bet with his friends. He has to sit in front of a mirror in a cemetery and peel an apple with one cut (this was apparently their version of Bloody Mary). It’s supposed to be a prank but a real ghost appears though Cheung is able to fight it off.

                When he’s not getting into supernatural shenanigans, Cheung makes end’s meet by taxiing a local politician around town. Little does Cheung know that this same politician is carrying on an affair with his wife.  Cheung discovers that his wife has been unfaithful but doesn’t know who she’s been with. The politician, fearing that Cheung will ruin him, puts out a hit on Cheung. However, Cheung has a rep of being tough so rather than going with a hitman, the politician decides to go with black magic.

                He hires a rogue Taoist priest who promises to kill Cheung with sorcery. Cheung is lured into an abandoned temple where he must fend off a Jiangshi (hopping vampire). Luckily for Cheung, the evil Taoist has a brother, Priest Tsui (Chung Fat) who practices good magic and does his best to help Cheung. Amidst all of this, Cheung’s wife has gone missing and Cheung is framed for murder. The local police inspector (Lam Ching-ying) is looking for Cheung. Cheung has to duck the police, while looking for his wife and studying  with Priest Tsui to learn how to protect himself from more black magic.

                Encounters of the Spooky Kind is a great example of the creative movies that were being made in Hong Kong during the 80s and 90s.  It blends multiple genres (in this case, horror, comedy and action) to make a very entertaining story. A lot of the linguistic humor is lost in translation but there is still plenty of effective slapstick. The martial arts is as good as Shaw Brothers ( though certainly not as intense).

                Sammo’s fingerprints are all over this movie. Besides being the main character, he also wrote and directed the film. If you are wanting something genuinely scary, this is not the film for you. However, if you want to see a master at action and see a type of film making that is frankly rare nowadays, check out Encounters of the Spooky Kind.

Fun fact- Chung Fat and Lam Ching-ying would have other run ins with hopping vampires besides this film. Lam Ching-ying was the star of the immensely popular Mr. Vampire. Chung Fat starred in some Mr. Vampire sequels as well as the modern Mr. Vampire homage, Rigor Mortis.

Fun fact #2- All three of the main stars, Sammo Hung, Chung Fat and Lam Ching-ying worked with Bruce Lee on Enter the Dragon.

Want more Hong Kong magnificence? Check out Chinese Ghost Story!